Overwhelmed

Today I had my first of many panics about this whole endeavour. I looked at my training schedule and realized I should have swam. Yes, one day since running a half-marathon I was already self-flagellating over perceived laziness. This of lack of perspective is somewhat of a neccessity for motivation, but I need to learn to balance this obsessiveness with healthy regard for myself and others.
I have generally had issues with self-perseption: sort of an egomaniac with a low self esteem (I stole that line, but I like it). In my years of single-minded drug abuse, I was pretty certain I was capable of anything if only I would just do it. It is an amazing sense of loss of control to have the belief that you have outstanding abilities, but lack the core ability to utilize them. The transition from this powerlessness to the ability to even consider an ironman is something for which I am humungously grateful. It is well worth the occasional overwhelmed self-doubt freak out.